So, for posterities sake, the issue was I was using remix-serve, I found the express example from remix and used that instead as the server and hosted it with node and it fixed it. Now the only issue I'm having is depsite my env variables looking like this:
NODE_ENV=production POSTGREST_URL=http://localhost:3000 PORT=5178 DEPLOYMENT_URL=
https://nyphix.net DEPLOYMENT_ENVIRONMENT=production HOST=0.0.0.0 node server.js
it's setting my callback url to http:// when selecting a project.